puppy_fair | Room 504, Saturday Evening

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Room 504, Saturday Evening

Zack... was not normally the sort to sit down at a desk and pick up a pencil and write letters of his own volition, no. In fact, if he had his way, he'd do all of his communicating in person, or at least on the telephone. But the people that he wanted to get in touch with at just that moment weren't exactly living in a corner of the world where technology was abundant, and so if he was going to get in touch with them, it was with a letter, or else not at all.

Dear Dad and Mom,

How are you guys?
Sorry for leaving town so suddenly.
I just really wanted to become a SOLDIER.
I bet you're worried now that I've told you...
But now I'm fulfilling my lifelong dream, and I'll do my best in SOLDIER.

P.S. I have a girlfriend.
Zack

Zack wrinkled his nose as he looked the letter over. It was... pretty lame, so far as letters went. But what else did you say to people that you hadn't spoken to in nearly five years? His mother would have wanted to know if he'd finally found a nice girl, and so he'd covered that much as an afterthought. And his parents would both worry once he told them that he'd gone and joined ShinRa's army. He couldn't tell them that everything was okay, because as far as he was aware, everything wasn't. But there wasn't a single lie anywhere in that letter. He was embracing his dreams, and he'd do his best, and that's all that they really needed to know after all of this time, wasn't it?

Now he just had to get up the nerve to mail it.

[Open door, open post. That unfortunate excuse for a letter home is snatched from Final Fantasy VII: International. Zack really sucks at writing letters, apparently.]

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It explained a lot.

"I think..." Ino stared down at her lap. "I think they would've."

Nothing in Zack's past that he'd told her said his family hadn't loved him.

"I think they'd still--hope. Hope don't die so easily, you know?"

Zack nodded. It was a small, tired, maybe even slightly frightened nod. But it was a nod. Conversations like this had a funny way of making him feel like a little boy all over again. But not the impulsive, stupid kid that he'd been back in Gongaga.

Smaller than that.

"When... When Angeal took off on us. I kept hoping. Even after he attacked me. I mean, after he attacked me the first time." They all sort of ran together, after a while. "I kept saying to myself, I would talk to him, you know? Reason with him, and then he'd come back, and everything would be okay again."

And it never would have worked out that way. And he knew it.

Oh Zack.

Her eyes were gentle as she picked herself off that bed and walked over to wrap her arms around him. "I'm sorry it didn't happen that way," she said quietly. "But... you know, it could turn out better, for your parents."

Wow, her arms were exactly what he needed, just then.

"Well, I kind of have my doubts that I'll find some really terrible way to turn all of ShinRa against me, and end up having to go on the run," Zack noted, his tone a little flat as he leaned against her, closing his eyes. "So that's already a point in my favor, there, huh?"

"Definite point," Ino replied, tightening her arms around him. "And you know, you're hard to kill--it wouldn't be easy for someone to take you out so they wouldn't have to worry too much there, no?"

Zack was now in the process of actually relaxing, and maybe silently marvelling over how tense he had actually been in the first place.

"There's that, yeah," he agreed. "I mean, I'm not some wet behind the ears 3rd Class anymore. Most SOLDIERs don't make it to my rank. So... Nothing to worry about."

"Less to worry 'bout," she corrected, closing her eyes. "They'd worry anyway but at least, at least 1st Class is known for being badass, you know? So they can relax a bit at the same time."

"Yeah," Zack agreed, his own eyes sliding shut. His voice took on a bit of a tired, dreamlike note as he settled against Ino. "I guess that would make things a whole lot easier on them, huh?"

And a whole lot more complicated for him. He sighed.

"Probably," she said quietly, then added, "but you still don't think so?"

He shrugged and leaned his head back against her shoulder.

"It gives them peace of mind," he said, quietly. "But my being 1st Class means that I have to worry about any of my problems getting back to them."

She was silent for a moment.

"By targeting them?" Ino asked slowly. "Or by them knowing what's happening in your life?"

It was funny, wasn't it, how a lifetime of deciding that you had to smile meant that you could put forth a smile that suggested nothing shy of pure fear.

"Both."

"You're so tense," she murmured, pressing a kiss to his head. "Shh. Nothing is changing just by talking about it, okay? You haven't sent the letter yet."

Ino couldn't help but feel that she was the wrong person for this. That she was going to mess it up entirely. Which issue did she want to address first?

He nodded a little. He hadn't sent the letter. It wasn't too late to completely chicken out, for that matter, but he didn't want to chicken out. He was SOLDIER. If he couldn't handle this, it was no wonder Lazard wasn't sending him on missions that were worthy of a 1st Class SOLDIER.

"There's nobody to protect them, if somebody decides to get to me through them," he noted, quietly. "And... they're not as young as they used to be, either."

She frowned a bit at that.

"Zack Fair. SOLDIER 1st Class. Birthplace: Gongaga."

Ino glanced at his desk. "All of that is common knowledge to anyone who cares to have it, Zack. If they--want to target your parents, visiting them or not won't make them easier to find."

"No, but... If I don't look like I'm really close to them, then what would the point be? You can't get to a SOLDIER using people that he doesn't even talk to. Not if you want to make it personal, you know."

Really, really personal. Threads to decapitate a person, personal. Zack had met some real charmers in his time as a SOLDIER.

"Is it really better to live in a bubble where you let no one close then?" she asked quietly.

Zack didn't answer, at first. He couldn't. It was a question that he was entirely too torn about, in so many different directions. Finally, he settled on words.

"I would have let Angeal kill me," he said, quietly. "But he threatened to go after the people I cared about, if I did."

No combination of words before or since had ever made Zack's blood run as cold as, 'Someone's waiting for you.'

"It was the only thing that would make you fight back," Ino answered, very quietly. "But that doesn't mean you should push those you care about away."

"Some people can more than take care of themselves," Zack offered, like some sort of tiny shred of a peace offering.

Angeal probably could have gone through the Turks, Cloud, Aerith, and Ino, with a brief stopover at the ShinRa building just to clear out the handful of SOLDIERs that Zack sometimes chummed around with, without breaking a sweat.

But it was still kind of like a peace-offering.

"...I don't want to hurt them more than I already have."

"Why not... why not let them decide?" Ino asked quietly. "Let them decide if the risk is worth it?"

Once again, Zack found his gaze pulled toward the letter.

"I guess that'll have to be something I ask them in my next letter."

Baby steps. Terrified puppy baby steps. Yes, from a guy who sometimes got kicks out of battling deity summons in his spare time.

Ino leaned a bit more of her weight into the hug.

"Will you write another?"

"I think that'll depend entirely on whether or not I panic and don't manage to mail this one in the morning," admitted Zack, sheepishly. "But I think I can handle that much... So yeah. Yeah, I think I will write more."

Whether or not he chickened out on mailing any subsequent letters depended entirely on the changing winds.

And if his parents ever wrote back or not, for that matter.

She smiled at him. Almost a shy sort of smile. It just--happened, really, and Ino didn't bother trying to figure out why.

"Good," she said softly. "I think it's--a good thing. Family is... important."

Said the girl who told her dad almost everything. Still.

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