puppy_fair | The Roof of the Groovy Tunes, Thursday Afternoon

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The Roof of the Groovy Tunes, Thursday Afternoon

Some days were just... nope days. Even for someone as enthusiastic as Zack. This particular day? This one was possibly more a nope day than most, the anniversary of the incident in Nibelheim. The day another good SOLDIER had turned. The day an entire town had burned to the ground.

The day he'd lost his freedom.

It was an old scar by now, but one that he'd spent years living the aftermath of. Being able to sit and actually observe it was a luxury he'd only had for a short while, now. Freedom was still big and comparatively new and terrifying at times, and it had come at the cost of his entire world.

He sighed, set his sword to the side of him, and flopped backwards on the roof to stare up at the sky.

The price of freedom was steep. Always had been.

Maybe he'd just spend the rest of his day right here.

[OOC: Open, if you have any reason to be up on the rooftops, chatting up a maudlin puppy. Also, listening to 'The Price of Freedom' at work was not a solid life choice.]

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The problem when your friends had a habit of swinging around buildings and gliding down? You weren't exactly invisible on a roof.

So, have a Miguel. He'd be nice at least, and not land on Zack's stomach or anything ~~because he wasn't a cat~~. He dropped down next to him instead, taking off his mask. "Hey, Zack - sunbathing? Tends to work better with fewer clothes."

"Oh, hey, Miguel," Zack glanced his way. Worked his way up to a smile that was just a little shy of actual 'smile.' "Yeah, that's usually how that works, isn't it? Maybe I'm just watching the clouds."

Or looking to see if he could spot whatever was beyond them.

Huh. Clearly something was going on here.

Miguel shrugged and lay back next to Zack, pillowing his head on his arms. "Anything interesting?"

"So far?" Zack shook his head a little. "Nah. It's all just... clouds."

He glanced sideways at Miguel.

"Sorry, man. I'm not going to be great company today."

Miguel shrugged. "Who says you have to be?" He glanced back. "Everything okay?"

"Just as okay as it was yesterday, or the day before," Zack said, honestly. "Just..."

He sighed. Sharing, he could do. He'd shared everything with Cloud while they'd been on the run. But sharing feelings?

That was always a little more difficult.

"Today's the anniversary of something... rough. I'm processing. I wasn't exactly in a position to, before."

"Sorry. That sucks." Miguel wasn't sure what else to say. "You want me to get lost? Or I can hang out and listen if you want. Or we can finally go for those drinks."

Zack was quiet for a few moments.

"I'm fine," he said. Which was immediately negated by the way he followed it up with, "I couldn't save anybody. An entire town burned, and I couldn't save them."

Miguel grimaced. "Yeah. That really does suck." He'd been there. Or in similar places, at least. "Sometimes you do all you can and it's not enough."

"Yeah," Zack sighed. "I paid for it, I guess. I wasn't the only one to pay for it."

He kind of still was, in a way.

"That -" sucks, yeah, you said that, Miguel.

"Um." How can I say it wasn't his fault? I don't even know what it is!

"You know," he settled on, "if you tried to help and couldn't, it's not on you, it's on whoever started it."

"Yeah," Zack said softly. "But figuring out who started it is like navigating a minefield all on its own."

No, really. Sephiroth! But... Genesis? Hojo? ShinRa. JENOVA...

It was a mess. It was such a mess.

"It's hard to know who to hold responsible for... things."

"Do you think it's you?" Miguel asked.

Zack was silent for a long moment.

"I didn't kill those people," he said, finally. "But I did watch the downslide of the one who did. I was there for too many of the beats that led up to that moment. And I worked for the monsters that destroyed him."

"Was he your friend?" Miguel asked.

Zack was quiet for a few moments more.

"I'd say so," he replied. "I'm not completely certain if he'd agree."

"I may not know you really well, but I know you're a good person," Miguel said. "You wouldn't be someone's friend if you knew they'd intentionally do something like that. So what happened?"

Zack bit his lip.

"He broke," he said, quietly. "He found out his entire existence was something the company created, went looking into what makes him different from any of the rest of us. Found it. And broke. Burned the entire town to the ground. Nearly killed me. Nearly killed another friend of mine. I... I don't know exactly what happened to him. It was a long time before my friend and I ever saw sunlight again, though."

Miguel winced. "Yeah, that kind of thing..." He fidgeted. "It makes you face yourself. If you've really been living like you should be, if you've really been that shocking stupid, what you can do about it all. Sounds like he couldn't deal with what he found, and you all ended up casualties."

"It wouldn't have been so bad if it was just me," Zack murmured. "Cloud wasn't even involved in any of it. But he watched his hometown burn, his family died, he had nothing left to lose and then he lost even more because he fought back anyway."

"I'm betting he couldn't not fight, though," Miguel said. "And you couldn't, either. Is that why you're watching the clouds today?"

"It's part of the reason," Zack said, after a long pause. "It was... four years? Five years? A long time after that before I could look at clouds that weren't inside my head, again."

He sat up and shrugged, slinging his elbows over his knees.

"I never used to think the sky was such a lonely thing, until then."

"Had a slow recovery?" Miguel guessed.

"Was never given a chance to recover," Zack said, a little vaguely. "I guess I knew too much. Did something a little too interesting."

"That...doesn't sound good." Miguel gave him a dubious side-eye.

"It wasn't great," Zack said, turning his gaze back up toward the sky. "Took that long for me to come back to my senses enough to break us out. Between the drugs, the mako, and..."

He tapered off. Swallowed thickly.

How had the journals described him? A failed experiment?

"It wasn't great."

Damn it, these people here and their stupid shocking making him feel similar...

Miguel sighed and looked over at Zack. "I ever tell you why I left my world?"

He hadn't, he knew he hadn't because he didn't, except apparently he did.

"No," Zack replied, smiling wryly. "But then, I never told you why I left mine, either."

Still hadn't. Not really. Not all the way.

"Seemed like a better idea than being an experimental test subject for the rest of my life," Miguel said. "You?"

Zack ducked his head a little.

"Seemed like a better idea than being an experimental test subject for the rest of my life."

"So in summary - people suck?" Miguel, still lying down, held up his hand for a high-five.

"People suck," Zack replied, and then reached to give Miguel a high-five for what was probably way up there on the list of shitty reasons to give people high-fives. "But I guess at least I'm still alive to say that."

"You and me both," Miguel said. "Alive and fighting the good fight." He sat up next to Zack. "Screw the ones who suck. We're still here."

"We're still here," Zack agreed quietly. He sat in silence for a moment before adding, "Hey, Miguel? Thanks."

"For being from just as screwed up a place as you?" Miguel asked wryly. "Sure. Hey, you want to go get those drinks after all?"

Zack looked up at the sky again, just for a moment.

And then he nodded.

"Yeah, sure," he replied. "Let's go get those drinks."

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The Roof of the Groovy Tunes, Thursday Afternoon

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